They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
