Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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