ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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