this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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