bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize