Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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