I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
