this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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