the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize