I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
