omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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