Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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