Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
