tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
