Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
