So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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