five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
