sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
