she looked like the bat from fern gully.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
COCAINE IS GR8
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
