Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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