all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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