I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
