And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
