Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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