google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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