we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
