Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
