farters have to be the big spoon...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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