So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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