Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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