So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I faked an abortion last night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
