Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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