I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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