No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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