wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
