The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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