I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
