Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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