im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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