Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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