areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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