I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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