Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
