do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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