that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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