They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
In other news, I just burned my penis
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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