I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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