Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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