He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
