Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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