i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
