big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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