the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
