I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My vagina is officially offended.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
