I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
