He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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