it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dignity is for republicans.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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