this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
