belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
