Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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