You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
