Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
