apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize