walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
