Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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