so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
