Apparently you make a good broom.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize