so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
