its not stalking. its research.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
