Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im holly from the hills drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
