shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
