$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize