whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
