the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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