and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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