But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
