Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
