drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
