I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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