If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
